I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
