Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!

(602): View more from Arizona

so its atleast an 8 for creativity.

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(516): View more from New York

He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore

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(561): View more from Florida

Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.

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(214): View more from Texas

Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.

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(912): View more from Georgia

Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.

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(419): View more from Ohio

please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation

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(816): View more from Missouri

He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.

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