I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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