I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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