Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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