just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
