I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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