how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
