I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
