just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
