he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
