Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
