Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
