just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
