They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
