Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
