I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
you made out with another girl for some wings
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
