Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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