alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
