what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
