the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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