He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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