Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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