Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
