u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
