I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
