My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
