NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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