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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...

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• (207): View more from Maine

  he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  Bringing families together since 1987

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce

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• (936): View more from Texas

  If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.

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