Fuck appropriateness.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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