does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
