i'm signing you up for texting rehab
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
