I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
