I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
