how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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