Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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