btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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