Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
