i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I yelled at your uterus for you.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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