My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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