STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
