the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm at about main and main street
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize