i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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