if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
