The best revenge is premature balding
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize