it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
