How'd it feel making her break her religion?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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