don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
