do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
