If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
