from now on my penis is your penis
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
