Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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