I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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