Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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