brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
it hurts more in the daytime
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
