I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
