I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Let's get the cat blown out
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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