he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize