did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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