i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
