I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize