He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
