I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
